Parenting « Elle Dubya

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Sum Sum Summertime Oh Summer Summertime (and some updates)

Thursday, July 8th, 2010

I absolutely LOVE Florida. I absolutely LOVE summertime. I ridiculously insanely LOVE being in Florida in the summertime. Bring on the sunshine. Turn up the heat. Heck – I even love those 30 minute rain showers every afternoon at 3:15 (you think I’m kidding, I’m not!). I love being so close to the beach that I can pack a brown bag lunch and hang out all day with my toes in the sand. Simply said, I.Love.Summer.

We’re spending insane amounts of time outside between biking around the new ‘hood, hanging out with good friends for a 4th of July celebration, and running stadiums each week with an ever evolving group of people. The kids come out there with us and run around not even realizing that all this good fun they’re having is exercise. It’s awesome. Every chance we get we’re jumping in the car and driving over to the beach for the day. I’ve even made a solo trip out there and it was so incredibly nice to lay there in my chair and not have to think about, or worry about, or look out for a single solitary thing/person/issue.

We were blessed recently with the gift of tickets to Disney World by some very dear friends. Of course there was no way I was passing up on that! We found a hotel for the night and the best part was I kept it a surprise from the kids until minutes before we hit the highway south. Needless to say they were super excited. The weather cooperated (somewhat) and the crowds really weren’t as heavy as we’d expected. We had the chance to visit with several friends while in Orlando and ate ourselves silly. Ol’ Walt really knows how to lay out a spread!

The only downer to all this summery deliciousness happened while at a friends 4th of July party. We’d been at their house all afternoon and evening having a wonderful time hanging out, enjoying great company and great food. After dark, and after the rain (Florida!), we all went outside in the streets and started shooting off fireworks. Anyone who knows me knows how much I ADORE fireworks. But this year it was different.

I don’t know if it was the noise, the flash, or the smoke, but very quickly I began to feel my pulse quicken and my heart beat faster and faster as if it was traveling up my chest, through my throat, and making grand attempts to leap out of my body. I broke out in a cold sweat and my hands started to shake. I was having a panic attack. I had to go back inside and get away from the noise. I whispered in my best friend’s ear that I was going in and God bless her, she followed me inside and sat with me on the hallway floor by the bathroom while I cried and got through it. She knows how to soothe my soul and it’s usually with laughter. Before too much longer there were as many smiles as there were tears. I had another friend texting and calling to check up on me once I told him what was going on. Seriously y’all… I have been blessed with the best friends EVER.

I know that the effects of the fire will be with me in some part forever. I wish that weren’t the case, but I’m dealing with it and understanding it more and more. I now know that fireworks are a trigger to a less than desireable reaction. Next time I’ll know what to expect and hopefully this won’t dampen my love of the boom boom pow!

I’m ok. I’m really ok, actually. Probably in a better place right now than I’ve been in a very long time. Ridiculously happy with this life I’ve been blessed with. Can’t ask for much more than that…

Posted in Daily Life, Parenting, The Fire |

Sounding Like A Broken Record

Monday, February 22nd, 2010

Obviously I’m stubborn and more than a little thick headed. I’m eager for God to reveal His great plan for my life because lately, I’m just not getting it. I’m tired, I’m frustrated, I’m lonely, and I’m growing impatient. Does He want me to get mad? Does He want me to get fired up? What am I supposed to be doing? What am I missing? There’s a point out there somewhere that’s just not reaching me.

I feel like I’m just spinning my wheels, moving from one day to the next, not making much of a difference with anything that I’m doing. On Tuesdays, I do the same thing that I do every single Tuesday. On Wednesdays, I do the same thing that I do every single Wednesday. I’m stuck in this loop, halfway afraid I’ll never make it off and halfway afraid of what would happen if I jumped.

Don’t tell me life is what happens while you wait. I’m tired of that line. I’m tired of all the same reasons, justifications, and excuses. I’m tired of everything getting me nowhere. I’m restless and irritated most of the time. I feel highly productive yet utterly useless all at once.

There’s gotta be something more
Gotta be more than this
I need a little less hard time
I need a little more bliss
I’m gonna take my chances
Taking a chance I might
Find what I’m looking for
There’s gotta be something more
–Sugarland

Posted in Being Vague on Purpose, Daily Life, Dating Games, Finding Soloman, Hopes Dreams And Unicorns, Jesus Is Cool, Parenting, Rambling And Probably Drooling, Single Life, Workin' 9 To 5 |

What I See From Here

Monday, February 8th, 2010

I’m camped out at the dining room table tapping away on the lap top and contemplating whether or not I should go to bed. From where I’m sitting, I look up and stare ahead into the kitchen. Stuck to the side of the refrigerator is a “project” that my 6 year old son brought home just before school let out for winter break.

The assignment: Gingerbread Man Decorating. They were given a kraft paper cut out of a Gingerbread Man, sent home in their backpacks with instructions to decorate the confection however they saw fit.

This was my son’s:

IMG_5898 - Copy

That’s right. It’s a ninja.

Coolest. kid. ever.

Posted in Daily Life, Parenting, The Boy, Yes, I Took This Picture |

Just Me & You, Kid

Friday, February 5th, 2010

The Girl is headed out later this afternoon to go camping with her Girl Scout troop so it looks like it’ll be just me and The Boy for the weekend. I love it when I have large chunks of time to spend with just one of the kids while the other is away having fun on their own. It lets me concentrate on that one little being and not feel guilty that I may be ignoring the other.

I’ll let him pick where we eat dinner tonight, almost certain that he will pick McDonald’s. He’s growing up so fast and I know that the days where he’ll want to spend time with me hanging out and putzing around are going to soon run short. But for now I’ll relish in his hugs and sticky face kisses.

Posted in Daily Life, Parenting, The Boy, The Girl |

Delayed Gratification

Monday, December 28th, 2009

The day was not a total loss. Not by a long shot. But there wasn’t much “Christmassey” about it. The morning was spent lazily hovering over the newspaper, sipping coffee and listening to the morning talk shows babbling in the background.

Having spent the night with my Momma and Step-Dad in Tallahassee, I finished up my coffee before dressing and packing my overnight bag to go back in the van. I had agreed to drop them off at the airport as they began their week long visit with my sister in Texas.

I was there less than 24 hours before I hit the road back home to Gainesville. I was anxious to get back even though I knew I would be returning to an empty apartment. Well, kinda empty – but the black and grey haired cat doesn’t really count.

That afternoon after dropping my bag off at home and checking on the furry one, I headed back out down the road to visit with some friends who had invited me over for their family’s Christmas dinner. It was nice to be in their warm, loving home, amongst the hustle and bustle that I’m so familiar with in my own. It was the hustle and bustle that I hadn’t had a chance to be a part of this holiday season.

I made myself available in the kitchen to my friend DG as much as she’d let me. Just standing around and watching someone else do all the work is a foreign concept to me. I wanted my hands to stay busy in hopes that my mind would follow suit. Because every pause in my step made room for the reminder that my children were not with me on this day.

When I climbed into bed later that night and flicked on the laptop, the glowing screen showed the social run-down of everyone else’s joyous Christmas day. Mine had been nice. Very nice actually. But it just didn’t seem like Christmas had happened. Not having my kids around devalued the spirit of the day for me. How could it possibly be Christmas when my children were not there to celebrate it with me?

The next morning, it took all that I had in me not to rush over to pick the children up from their father’s house the moment the sun peeked over the tree tops. But before mid-day they were home and eager to open the gifts that Santa had left them there. I sat on the corner of the couch and watched as they picked out a gift one at at time for the other to open, taking turns and trying their hardest to guess the contents before tearing into the paper wrapping. My cheeks hurt from smiling.

It was finally Christmas.

Posted in Parenting, Single Life |