how will you know when you’ve found it
if you don’t know what you’re looking for
or what you really want

how can you say “yes”
if what you think is “maybe”
is it fair to say “yes”
when what you mean is “yes, for now”

you want to ask questions
but you’re afraid of the answers
you need to know
even if its not what you want to hear

you’re confused
tired
lonely
unfocused

you need a map
a compass
and a set of instructions

you want to hear what they have to say
even if it’s only an excuse
or a reason
or some sort of justification

patience is in short supply
and in high demand
motivation doesn’t even exist

past hopes and dreams and wishes
were never fulfilled
now they change every single day

you’re frustrated
priorities should change
sacrfices are to be made
faith will be found

tired of being ignored
and of low priority
to those you want

sinking deeper
struggling to stay above the water
sometimes think about giving up
for only a little while

and on the edge
on the verge
just trying to hold it together
and hold it in

to be able to let go
and let it out
while gasping and grabbing
and shaking a fist

realizing how wrong you were
about so many things
and trying to undo
so you can start again

you can’t ever help but wonder
does it even matter