Archive for November, 2008

A Question For The Masses

Wednesday, November 26th, 2008
Have you ever seen someone from across a large, cavernous, echo-inducing lobby and think to yourself, “oh look! It’s so-and-so, I should get their attention and wave because they’re pretty cool and I want to say hi,” then take a few steps forward and within sheer milliseconds of making a fool of yourself waving largely at them, realize that it’s not who you thought it was, but in fact is someone that, while you know them, you really don’t like them in the least little bit and mistook them for the pretty cool people, decide not to wave largely at them but instead do a 180 on your left (wobbly) heel to get the heck out of there and then trip on said wobbly heel, only to make a complete idiot out of yourself for drawing so much attention to your less than graceful pirouette, then hide for the next 20 minutes in the ladies room texting your BFF while sitting on the toilet???

You haven’t?

Umm… Me either.

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Posted in Aaaah Crap, The BFF |

It’s Not Rambling If I Know Exactly What I Mean

Sunday, November 23rd, 2008
I don’t want to find myself falling into old, unproductive habits. I want to learn from my past and grow beyond the short-sited existence that I lived two years ago. But I find myself, at least in my mind, allowing the memories of certain events to take control of my thoughts and they linger a little longer than necessary.

If I continue to dwell on the past – even the good parts – how can I fully embrace my future?

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Posted in Aaaah Crap, Back In The Day, Hopes Dreams And Unicorns, Single Life |

Just A Little Bitter

Monday, November 3rd, 2008
I never realized how much toilet paper you used until after you left. I know that we would routinely go through 3-4 rolls in a week’s time. I just thought that the kids were using it as they would go in our bathroom just as much as their own. Turns out it WAS you. You seriously need to go see a doctor. I have counted – in the last week I have used less than one roll. And that includes 100% child usage as well since their toilet has been out of commission (until earlier today, thank you Mr. Landlord for coming over to fix!).

I’m finding myself getting used to, and quite enjoying, a lot of other “missing” things lately. Like the coating of partially dissolved protein shake mix that was always left to dry and cement in the bottom of the kitchen sink. Apparently turning on the faucet and rinsing was too foreign of a concept for you.

I also do not miss your underwear lying on the floors (yes, as in multiple rooms) or your keys thrown carelessly on top of my heirloom wooden jewelry chest (thanks for scratching it jerkface and then trying to say it was already damaged). Ditto on your lazy butt using my bath towel and then not hanging it up to dry, I totally love wiping off with a smelly, soured towel. *hoarf* You obviously knew that you were getting in the shower – would it have killed you to grab your own towel?

I can’t say that I’ve missed the house being dirty all the time either. It’s amazing how spending 5 minutes a day to pick up after yourself will do wonders for the place. The kids understand this concept (to a certain degree) and I don’t have a problem with it. But somehow, your genius level I.Q. 39 year old self can’t grasp it. Buh bye.

No, I don’t miss you and don’t sound all pissy when I confirm this to you every single time you ask me. The kids don’t miss you either. Oh wait – The Boy would like for you to put his basketball goal back together, the one you disassembled before a storm and then have let lay on the grass for the last three months. Preesh.

I especially enjoyed telling your friends at church today that you were gone. Oh and the one that’s known you for the last 25 years? Yeah, she didn’t really seem all that surprised. Go figure.

I hope you had a nice weekend on your bike at the beach. If the check you wrote me on Friday bounces, I’m selling your tools.

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Posted in Aaaah Crap, Boys Are Stoopid, TMI |