I absolutely LOVE Florida. I absolutely LOVE summertime. I ridiculously insanely LOVE being in Florida in the summertime. Bring on the sunshine. Turn up the heat. Heck – I even love those 30 minute rain showers every afternoon at 3:15 (you think I’m kidding, I’m not!). I love being so close to the beach that I can pack a brown bag lunch and hang out all day with my toes in the sand. Simply said, I.Love.Summer.
We’re spending insane amounts of time outside between biking around the new ‘hood, hanging out with good friends for a 4th of July celebration, and running stadiums each week with an ever evolving group of people. The kids come out there with us and run around not even realizing that all this good fun they’re having is exercise. It’s awesome. Every chance we get we’re jumping in the car and driving over to the beach for the day. I’ve even made a solo trip out there and it was so incredibly nice to lay there in my chair and not have to think about, or worry about, or look out for a single solitary thing/person/issue.
We were blessed recently with the gift of tickets to Disney World by some very dear friends. Of course there was no way I was passing up on that! We found a hotel for the night and the best part was I kept it a surprise from the kids until minutes before we hit the highway south. Needless to say they were super excited. The weather cooperated (somewhat) and the crowds really weren’t as heavy as we’d expected. We had the chance to visit with several friends while in Orlando and ate ourselves silly. Ol’ Walt really knows how to lay out a spread!
The only downer to all this summery deliciousness happened while at a friends 4th of July party. We’d been at their house all afternoon and evening having a wonderful time hanging out, enjoying great company and great food. After dark, and after the rain (Florida!), we all went outside in the streets and started shooting off fireworks. Anyone who knows me knows how much I ADORE fireworks. But this year it was different.
I don’t know if it was the noise, the flash, or the smoke, but very quickly I began to feel my pulse quicken and my heart beat faster and faster as if it was traveling up my chest, through my throat, and making grand attempts to leap out of my body. I broke out in a cold sweat and my hands started to shake. I was having a panic attack. I had to go back inside and get away from the noise. I whispered in my best friend’s ear that I was going in and God bless her, she followed me inside and sat with me on the hallway floor by the bathroom while I cried and got through it. She knows how to soothe my soul and it’s usually with laughter. Before too much longer there were as many smiles as there were tears. I had another friend texting and calling to check up on me once I told him what was going on. Seriously y’all… I have been blessed with the best friends EVER.
I know that the effects of the fire will be with me in some part forever. I wish that weren’t the case, but I’m dealing with it and understanding it more and more. I now know that fireworks are a trigger to a less than desireable reaction. Next time I’ll know what to expect and hopefully this won’t dampen my love of the boom boom pow!
I’m ok. I’m really ok, actually. Probably in a better place right now than I’ve been in a very long time. Ridiculously happy with this life I’ve been blessed with. Can’t ask for much more than that…
Sounds like you’re having a blast this summer. We, too, love the beach and go as often as possible. Soaking up the sun is so good for growing kids and for moms bone health…it’s really win/win all the way around as far as entertainment and relaxation go.
I’ve been wondering how you’ve been faring since the fire. I recently read a Christian novel (Jenna’s Cowboy by Sharon Gillenwater) which dealt with post traumatic stress disorder in returning soldiers. They frequently suffer the same effects from fireworks, diesel fumes (from convoys), the sounds of helicopters and other ‘triggers’ that are associated with periods of great stress in their lives.
Any ordeal a person goes through requires a certain amount of processing and/or decompressing before you’re feeling yourself again. Talking it out, dissecting the whys and working through them bit by bit over time are all helpful in putting events behind you. Prayer, too, but that goes without saying.
Praying for you girl…I know that must have been a bummer on a day you would normally have enjoyed, but it does sound as though you’re doing awesome in spite of everything. God is good!
God is so faithful and I am so blessed. If this is the worst thing I suffer as a result of all we’ve been through then I’m doing alright. I’m getting better about firetrucks passing me in traffic. Those used to send me into a tailspin. Before this panic episode, the worst thing that had happened was our smoke alarm was set off in the new place after I’d run the toaster oven once to many at breakfast. It was less of what effect it had on me and more of the effect it had on The Girl. I thought I was going to have to peel her off the ceiling and that tore me to pieces. Day by day, little by little, it gets better and easier. Again…God is faithful!